i never thought i would say this but....

CHINESE DRAMA GOT A GOLD!!!!!!!! :) top 3 placings to be decided next saturday :D omg... nice work every1. :D *elation*

back to the moribund....

roar... its been a crazy time for me... haha... but it looks alright now... gonna concentrate on studying chinese(i God damn need to)... hopefully i pass it and get thru:) but considering the time frame i have and the commitments too.. .si liao.

ooo... Karen thou hath good taste... chilling out to goodnight goodnight by hot hot heat(how apt now that im sitting in swealtering weather... think i should turn on the air con and take a shower... i'll do that... soon...

Chinese Drama was excellent... yes... i was doing the sound tech job though.. so dun be so shocked. Peace... haha... i made 1 screw up... hey, the damn player skipped 2 tracks instead of 1, who the hell came up with the bright idea of using a dial to navigate tracks... idiot. Think we might make it to the finals.. but that would mean 1 more week to practice and change the story... (or rather... 1 less week to study) sry TC ppl.. haha.. i promise i'll be back asap:p

on another note. WHAT SONGS DO U GUYS WANT ME TO PLAY? yep... gonna record another show soon... airing in 3 wks i think... so yeah, give me suggestoins if you like... put it in comments i guess.

yep.. just an update... nothing deep now. Not that i have nothing on my mind, but maybe later when i have more time. Was thinking about religion and Singaporeans... inspired by the blogs of 2 friends. Might say more next time:D now...

shower

*fizzle

*fizzle pop

ok.. note to self...

-Computing Programming -->Book
-Chinese Practice
-Recording in 3 weeks
-Library Camp
*fizzle
-pull out my damn wireless modem so i dun slack so much

*POP

/AnT@euS is offline

A time...

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Angels and demons

i know now... i know now what haunts my heart and soul... wt torments my mind... i know who you are... what you are... lest you manifest your self in my life in many ways, i will overcome you... devil... you will not have a hold on my life, you will not unleash my hatred, impatience, evil on the people i love... i shall protect them with all i have... out demon.. away...

Lord... please give me the strength to overcome this... foothold satan has in my life, be it in any manifestation - sloth, pride... anything at all... banish it from me.

keep ur com safe... download these!

IF YOU SEE THIS... says:
http://pj34r1ng.us/gallery.php?email=chriscai87@hotmail.com

DO NOT CLICK IT! if you have.. log off MSN! and download Ad aware, update, and do a full system scan... and delete all the spyware on your com... if u are paranoid abt del the wrong program, then look for C:\wINDOWS\System32\mssmmspgr.exe and del that.. (advised to at least del every file that is classified as critical)

Google bar - http://toolbar.google.com/

Ad Aware - www.lavasoftusa.com/software/adaware/

Zone Alarm - http://www.download.com/3000-2092-10039884.html?part=zonealarm&subj=dlpage&tag=button

Spyware blaster - http://www.javacoolsoftware.com/spywareblaster.html

15 years...

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

We are still young arnt we? that is what they all say, its the time to enjoy, to live and love... don't grow up beyond your time... mistakes we make... lessons we learn... so even though it is the time to enjoy, we have to start the process of growing up. life aint no bed of roses, nor is it all thorns, but you need to know that shit happens, you need to know that there are people who will help you. Cartoons, games, movies... they are all escapes from drudgery... but love, friendship and most of all family is permanant. You are lucky to have it good for almost everything... but grow up dammit... the clock is ticking

Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

they say music can talk to you and alter moods...

crick of a cricket

hey there people,
*stretch.. the week end is here... finally, going to get my new phone and line tomorrow, dun worry will keep you guys informed if i change number. bwah... insignificant detail of my life isnt it? what has happened to you chris? have you become another inconsequencial person... a non-living, existing thing.

work has been overwhelming me these few weeks because of my lack of time management... I'm barely keeping afloat in school, let alone achieving the grades i want. I have neglected my friends badly and im tired... more tired than i've ever been before. Why? why does it have to be so?

his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy...

I lack.... confidence, lack experiance. i only do what i can do best... learn fast and adapt to situations... like a chemeleon, i can meld quickly and naturally into most situations, solving most problems and keeping things together. And yet, though organisation and work comes naturally to me... socialising is tough... for it is intangible, unquantifiable and ultimatly illogical.

Where is the Chris from sec4? who lived to try to make the world a better place by talking to friends, by helping and guiding them the best he could. Gone is he... replaced by one who focuses his energy on the problem... the question... the puzzle...

pity... i do believe that this change is irrevocable... at this point at least. there is no turning back, there will only be one path.... onwards.

I am but a simple person with a simple heart and simple mind. I live to love, to be loved, to help and to be helped, to bless... and be blessed. This is what i am in life... not what i dream to be. :) ironic isnt it? We all have such big dreams, and lovely dreams they are. Yet... we cannot pursue them in this day and age lest it can keep the food on the table and the comforts of a modern world in our homes. Success is measured materialisticly, the arts are an indulgence, estacy, an addiction. People take drugs to keep working into the night, and more drugs to release themselves from the drugery of our mundane lives. Can we dream our dreams? Can we believe that one day they will come true? Or are we stuck in the hamster wheel of work and money?

is there space for love? can we humans afford to spend time on such fleeting emotions? i mean... its been proven that relationships are hardly permanant, they are but sparse temporal feelings, the works of our bodies to ensure procreation...

I say yes... love is real, love is needed. if not for romance, then for security and companionship. No man is an island... that is true... yet every man has to make that effort to build the bridge to another island and open his shores to the love that will come and go.

AnT@euS... inspired by the cricket that wouldn't let me sleep

525600 minutes

hmm... just a short post.. need to dive back into my work... im finally reaching the end of a very dark tunnel.. haha... whee! tired though.. thinking of skipping school tmr to recuperate, sucky. oh well... have like free periods from 1030 to 310 anyway... bloody hell. AC freq is online:D

when time meets death

Credit of this picture, titled "Technical imperfection" goes to Deviant Artist -> DivineError. check out his art work and the works of other artists at that cool site http://www.deviantart.com.

haha... just putting this up as a temporal thank you. Even though i dun noe the guy. but credit should be given where credit is due.

gosh... nearly 1 and a half years in JC and i still have not gotten used to the timing... i get home beat everyday(even sundays) and the only thing getting me up early in the morning is the showing of gundam seed on TV mobile:P, great show by the way.

like toy soldiers - Eminem
[Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers]

[Chorus]
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

[Verse 1]
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can't handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now the Ja shit i tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I helped build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' ...
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like fuck it i understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how he stabbed him
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well fuck it, that mutherfucker can get it too, fuck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
We still have soldiers that's on the front line
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have Runion Avenue Soldiers up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
It ain't worth it I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws well then I can,
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz

[Chorus]

i cannot see this title

haha... ok... there we go. im back in the bloggin business.. sry about the silence, have been pretty busy this past weeks. oh and i bet u like this aye lex? haha... WADDUP people!

Whee! i know this pic is kinda sadistic, but i bet u smiled when u saw it. I bet u are still laughing.
p.s talk about injecting color into your life:P