crick of a cricket

hey there people,
*stretch.. the week end is here... finally, going to get my new phone and line tomorrow, dun worry will keep you guys informed if i change number. bwah... insignificant detail of my life isnt it? what has happened to you chris? have you become another inconsequencial person... a non-living, existing thing.

work has been overwhelming me these few weeks because of my lack of time management... I'm barely keeping afloat in school, let alone achieving the grades i want. I have neglected my friends badly and im tired... more tired than i've ever been before. Why? why does it have to be so?

his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy...

I lack.... confidence, lack experiance. i only do what i can do best... learn fast and adapt to situations... like a chemeleon, i can meld quickly and naturally into most situations, solving most problems and keeping things together. And yet, though organisation and work comes naturally to me... socialising is tough... for it is intangible, unquantifiable and ultimatly illogical.

Where is the Chris from sec4? who lived to try to make the world a better place by talking to friends, by helping and guiding them the best he could. Gone is he... replaced by one who focuses his energy on the problem... the question... the puzzle...

pity... i do believe that this change is irrevocable... at this point at least. there is no turning back, there will only be one path.... onwards.

I am but a simple person with a simple heart and simple mind. I live to love, to be loved, to help and to be helped, to bless... and be blessed. This is what i am in life... not what i dream to be. :) ironic isnt it? We all have such big dreams, and lovely dreams they are. Yet... we cannot pursue them in this day and age lest it can keep the food on the table and the comforts of a modern world in our homes. Success is measured materialisticly, the arts are an indulgence, estacy, an addiction. People take drugs to keep working into the night, and more drugs to release themselves from the drugery of our mundane lives. Can we dream our dreams? Can we believe that one day they will come true? Or are we stuck in the hamster wheel of work and money?

is there space for love? can we humans afford to spend time on such fleeting emotions? i mean... its been proven that relationships are hardly permanant, they are but sparse temporal feelings, the works of our bodies to ensure procreation...

I say yes... love is real, love is needed. if not for romance, then for security and companionship. No man is an island... that is true... yet every man has to make that effort to build the bridge to another island and open his shores to the love that will come and go.

AnT@euS... inspired by the cricket that wouldn't let me sleep