Hey there... lets talk crap...

Change
people
the best way may not be the easiest way



lol... i find myself wondering where's my usual ability to chat up a person and hold a long(most of the time meaningful) conversation... for some reason I cant seem to do that with some ppl, and instead i feel like burying my head in the ground. Clumsiness? lack of confidence? guilt? maybe... but i hvnt had 2 use those words to describe me in a long time... get me meaning? why the change i ask... or is it limited to certain ppl...

Aaron once described me as versatile... able to pick up any subj and talk about it... true, im interested in a whole range of things.. Science, Literature, Games, design, Music, Movies, computers, sports, history, books(fiction), politics... but i have never really gone deep into anything... so what happened?

There are ppl with whom i can talk to and relate to easily... be it talking crap or the meaning of life or how life sux, etc.. haha... Estelle, Aaron, Andrew, Kian Wee, YangFan... these are some ppl I can talk to so so easily.. ppl whom i have confided in and trust for serious matters...Ben, Amy/Claudelle, Simun... ppl whom i like alot but cant seem to get to ... Virnice, Sonia, Charlotte, Ian Tatt...

Confidence is the major factor... that is what i have come to conclude... all the bluster and air... lolz... well... not really... I can still be egoistic to some ppl(chill estelle), but its all for a good laugh... in truth im so unsure of many choices iv made, should i even stay on in JC... should i have been a better guy in my past relationships... should i... every time i look back i see my blunders.

I gv most ppl the impression that im REALLY quiet when they 1st meet me... im no extrovert... so yeah... sry if im a pain to hang out with... :) chill out... in the mean time i will just let another oppurtunity pass by me.. might regret it in the future but We'll let Fate decide what course i will hv to take...

p.sAwfully disjointed... I wrote this over 3 days... but yepz... too lazy to rewrite it properly... oh well.. the meaning is sufficiently clear i suppose... besides... my mind is tt clogged up now... oh and did i mention that with me new hair cut i look like Gendo from Evangelion(according to Ben anyway.......)