A Letter...

about me....
friends



After hearing what a friend said today i was compelled to pen my thoughts down(or in this case digitize)... family, friends... which is more important...i guess its dependent on how close to either of them you are... Living away from my parents and with a large degree of freedom has given me a different outlook on the topic of trust and companionship... how so... read on...

Friends-I have spent most of the past year in the company of friends, i called Oldham Hall home... and Aaron, Ben, Andrew, Pedro, Andra, Kevin, Shunjing, Jonathan... they were my brothers... ppl i could trust to be there when i was in need... ppl i would be willing to sacrifice for... Amy, Charlotte, Simun... They were there through out my emotional crisis-ES... now in ACJC ive got friends... ppl i can trust.. Hong Xuan, Estelle, Sonia,Virnice ... But why i have not developed my relationships with them? i do not know... Honestly i've been really close friends with Estelle sure... but she dosent know all that rages within me sometime... (note to cow: We are alike in this way...) I keep in well buried...

There was once, Sonia said this in computing class, "I may be Naive, but i believe i have many true friends... more than i can count with...." *applause... I find yet another reason to respect her...

some ppl have the luck in finding true friends... i hv been on such blessed person... Ken Chin, Ben Moey, Aaron, Colin(yes wow suprise...), Simun, estelle... to name a few off hand... there are only a few whoom i do not trust fully... but it is probably just the clashes between our characters... there is one exception... and i will vent it at the end of this blog...

hmm... now some of you may feel that friends hard to trust... you have been backstabbed, let down, left behind oh so many times... but do not judge every1 with a lens colored by such experiances... every1 is different... whether or not they can be trusted, will only be told by time... it might be hard.. but i have found that if you are willing to open up to ppl... they will open up to you... its a matter of mutual trust i believe...

Again as i told a friend... DO NOT listen or follow blindly what ever ppl say... including me... There are definitly flaws in my way of living life... and also you are only that much similar to me... just... hope that my experiances will help you if you are confused or in need of some1 to relate to...

Charlotte... I do not know when or whether you will read this...I am sick of keeping this inside me so here goes...know that i am extremely disappointed with the way you led me on... the way you did NOT even tell me about your crush in AJ... i expected honesty... i expected trust... did you not learn from what you went through with Felix? in---credible... damn... I still think of you.. i still worry for you.. but do i hear from you? Fuck no...
must I always ask how you have been? having convs that last slightly over 4 sms-es? must i always ask Amy how YOU are doing... must i WONDER how it came to the point that you forgot HOW MUCH I CARE... CARE NOT CARED... has it? must it?

Im done ranting... wow... 1 vulgarity... i expected more...